This is what I am doing insteading of sleeping…
I just realised something that is kinda profound (or isn’t, I’ll let you decide, if there are any you left after 5 weeks of silence from me). The whole subtext of this blog is one man wrestles with a continent. Wrestles. That leads to a whole heap of Jacob imagery.
1st, please oh please in all this wrestling let me not substitute God with Africa. Let me not be so stupid or so idolatrous as to do that. That does not help me. That does not lead to a partnership with Africa that produces eternal fruit or a stronger Africa and even a stronger Craig. That leads to weakness, and a kind of wrestling that leads to one of the wrestlers being strangled, rather than – like Jacob – emerging limping but with a new relationship with God and a new name.
Jacob means he deceives. My capacity to talk and to communicate and to publicly express my heart is pretty good, my capacity to follow that up is less so. I can deceive myself to such an extent that it is breathtaking. It is almost two months since I landed back home, tired, somewhat wired, and ready to grapple with what it means to partner with Africa. If I fail to wrestle with that then I am deceiving myself that the stuff I experienced in South Africa, Swaziland and Zimbabwe has no bearing on my life and my walk with God. Jacob also means – or more literally means – he grasps the heel. There’s some wonderful imagery there (which I am twisting soooo far out of context) that I want to grasp. So many have gone before me and forged great connections and partnerships serving God in partnership with Africa. They have gone ahead of me and I want to grasp their heel – not to trip them, but to be pulled along by them. Yet if all this postulating comes to nothing, then I may just be a hindrance.
But Jacob has some positives. In Genesis 32:1-2, as he sets out to face his daunting ranga brother Esau, he is met by angels, and realises that he has been camping with God. In the ordinary task of beginning the right journey, the surprising presence of God is there with Jacob. God meets him where he is at. That’s amazingly encouraging!
And, of course, there is the outcome of the wrestle.
Jacob is wounded. He will limp. The wrestle takes all night before he receives his blessing. The blessing? A new name. Israel: he struggles with God. He is transformed and defined by the wrestle with God. I can handle that.
So, the wrestle continues…
August 11, 2009 at 4:43 pm |
still with you, Craig! Keep wrestling. You are welcome in Bujumbura anytime your match brings you here!